I spent last evening with Moris and Asherah in Paris. Asherah is a cute little thing, whom I met through Oberyn. We spoke of different things, but mainly the topic of 'service' and significant others came up.

Moris has promised to play matchmaker for little Asherah ... and for me. I laughed, but he insisted upon it. He said that I can do better than what I 'have' right now.

Then I showed them my neck, the scar that's hidden. The one that's from that day when I learned to lock the doors to my house while I was still pregnant. I told them where it came from, and Moris seemed... Moris' reaction was just not what I had expected, and I guess my statements weren't what he was expecting either.

I explained to him that sometimes one must serve before they may lead. I told him (and the druid) how I was taught to serve, was taught of myself, and then was given the oportunity to become what I am -- a Mistress of Hell.


Enough of that for now, honestly.

Earlier that day I had been running around, working on Aryia and Ranmaru's wedding present (which, honestly, was inspired by Shivan and a few of His statements), when I was beeped by an invisible someone. I knew who it was, though. It was kind of easy, considering I had recently beeped him. It was Atonte. Anyway, I thought that he had left, but he followed me all the way to Agrabah. (I was still working on the pressie... *smirk*)

He started to recite satires. It was... bad, to say the least. I tried to run away before he got too loud, but I hadn't moved quick enough. 'Nadia's secret love affair with Shivan...' he had yelled. Lovely Ana though... lovely Ana pointed out that it wasn't exactly a secret.

Reguardless, Anadreva made me a potion so I could see those invisible bastards. By then he'd stopped following and taunting and whatnot, but one can never be too sure. Ana then gave me a pressie. I have another potion to use in an emergency from Ana. *smiles* She's ever so nice to me.


Now as for my soul, that's an interesting bit. The other day I had stalked Rowane into Limbo, hoping to surprise him. (I did.) While there, we started to talk of different things, and he told me that I was 'hanging on by a thread.' That does give one hope, I suppose. Moris mentioned something about it not being as gone as I would think, and Joel told me Ammy had said the same.

Perhaps it's time I sat down and put two and two together, trying to figure out this and that. Maybe even make ammends with my Hellhound. But first... first I think I need a reading from Orchid.

When Lucifer took my soul, I thought I was left with nothing. Just the seven emotions that some say he is "King" over. I couldn't fear, or at least I couldn't remember what that feeling was. The same with sensation. And Love.

But over the past week I've felt fear again. I've felt it like I never did before. Things have happened, I've lost a bit, as well as gaining some. I've been jealous, annoyed, bitter, apathetic, and fearful.

Oh God, how I've been scared.

I don't get why either. It wouldn't last like this, it hasn't for months. Now suddenly it does and I can't stand it. I've had to tell so many lies for it. Confirm unresolved uncertainties. Malia knows I'm lying. I'm sure of it. I'm scared again, and of him. More than when I was first there. More than when I ran away to Lethe, when I was pregnant, when I went back to him....

Something is wrong with this situation. Lucifer is screwing with me again.

Yeah, that's it.

Lucifer.

Malia told me.

So I drowned myself. Then I set her on fire. I did it.

I can't feel the hurt yet. I can't feel the calm revenge brings yet. But I felt the wrath. And the jealousy.

I'm not of the Circles anymore. Malia said that She may be able to help me out. She may be what I need, I guess.

I also told her I was tired of Joel. I was done with him.

I told her lots.

I told her about Shivan. I told her about this and that.

I told her why I like water.

Now I'm seeking out The Grand Coven. I'm going to have sisters. Not just one. Not just Malia. But sisters.

"The shade of Virgil the poet leans forwards and breathes a word of power into your ear. You reel from the blow of his divinely invested power!"



Virgil 2, Nadia 0.

I was visiting Malia as she ran about Limbo. Well, not really 'ran' more like 'oh, here looks good *kill*.'

Anyway, I'm just standing there, looking around and suddenly Virgil just hauls off and hits me. Hard.

Eventually Malia was able to calm things down eventually, but that bastard hurt.

So then he just up and leaves. Literally, he floated away up. Well, being the way I am, I shout after him.

"Yeah, well screw you too!" and then "Just cause you can't have my bod..."

About five seconds later he came back and gave me one of those looks. You know... those looks.

The... "excuse me, bitch?" look. Needless to say, I batted my eyelashes and said I was sorry. Kinda. Not really, but still.

He's got a mean glare.

Little bit of this and that. Never what you'd expect.